Not Quite Pissing a Rainbow
by mapplepie
Summary: Part 2 and 3 of PaR. In which Naruto is not quite pissing a rainbow, Sakura actually is from the future, and Sasuke still is a horrible actor. As for Kakashi ... well, he'll get used to his new genin team. Eventually. (Part 3 summary inside, ch2)
1. Not Quite

_Any minor inconsistencies you might find in Part 2 wrt Part 1 is mainly because I never expected "Pissing a Rainbow" to have a second part when I wrote it. One day, while rereading it, I suddenly decided I wanted to expand on the story and somehow make some sense of the thing. So Part 2 and 3 happened!_

_Part 1: Pissing a Rainbow  
**Part 2: Not Quite Pissing a Rainbow**  
Part 3: Definitely not Pissing a Rainbow_

**NOT QUITE PISSING A RAINBOW**

* * *

It all started when the Hokage decided that Kakashi should stop being such a reclusive pervert, and forced a team of three onto the silver-haired man.

Kakashi hated his genin team before he stepped foot into the academy classroom to collect his students. He hated them before he even knew who was placed in his cell. And he hated them immeasurably more when he did.

In fact, while he was at it, the moment Kakashi slammed open the classroom door, "my first impression is that I -"

"- hate us?" the pinklette of the group asked sweetly, amusement in her tone.

Kakashi hid a glare from her as he mentally recalled her name. "No, of course not. Don't be silly." He waved Sakura off, "What kind of sensei do you take me for?" The man cleared his throat, "Now, enough chit chat and meet me-"

"-up on the roof?"

Kakashi glowered at her innocent tone before he shunshin-ed away without another word. Damn her for stealing his thunder.

**x**

"Alright. Let's start with introductions," Kakashi said when his three freshly graduated academy students finally clambered onto the rooftop like he had asked. "Likes, dislikes, dreams for the future," Kakashi listed idly.

"I already know you," Sasuke said boredly from the side where he had plopped himself down the moment Kakashi had started talking. Naruto elbowed the Uchiha in a fashion Kakashi was certain was supposed to be discreet, but definitely wasn't in any way, shape, or form. Nevertheless, the Uchiha sat up straighter and proceeded to retract his previous comment. "Oh, I mean, I can't wait to get to know you," he said with his onxy black eyes widening comically in exaggerated innocence.

Kakashi just stared at him. Right...

"No, really, I've never met you in my life before," he said, voice curling with cuteness that didn't fit the annoyed expression deep in the boy's eyes.

Kakashi let out a long exasperated sigh.

The Uchiha suddenly glowered at him. "Don't give me that look," he snapped irritably.

"What look?" the silver-haired man asked mildly.

Sasuke's eyes only narrowed further. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Hmm?"

"You're thinking that I'm horrible at acting, aren't you?" Sasuke spat out. "Of course I can act – not that I am acting," he hastily corrected.

"Of course not," Kakashi said condescendingly.

"I am not bad at acting! Why does everyone say that? And besides," The boy urgently looked around their rooftop as if trying to find something, "I have an excuse - I… I …" As if on cue, Sakura suddenly dug into her waist pouch and procured a pink box which she promptly ripped open. She handed it to the Uchiha who accepted it immediately, sticking its contents in his mouth. "I'm eating. I can't act when I'm eating good food. Call it my single fault, if you will," he said grandiosely around a mouthful of pocky.

Kakashi tried to pretend he didn't see the thanking nod Sasuke gave Sakura, who beamed brightly back.

"Don't worry Sasuke, I'll bring a box around with me from now on in case this happens again," the girl said, not all too discreetly.

Naruto clapped his hands together eagerly, "Ooh, can you bring ramen too?"

Kakashi buried his face into his gloved hands. He really wanted no part on this team. Forget procedure; couldn't he just fail them all already and get it over with? "Likes, dislikes, dreams for the future," the Jounin repeated forcefully at his kids, trying to stop them from making this meeting longer than it had to be.

The pinklette seemed to take pity on him. "I'll do it," she offered dutifully. She began once Kakashi gave her a nod. "Well, my name is Sakura Haruno. My dream is to be trained as a medical nin under Tsunade-sama. I don't like snakes who are morbidly obsessed with eyes, nor medics who listen to and eventually betray such snakes. I suppose I also don't like people who are supposed to be dead but really aren't." The girl paused, "And as for likes, I like …" she took a shy glance over at Sasuke.

Naruto jumped up at that. "Still?!" The blond cried out, interrupting the girl.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the boy. Kakashi sighed, hoping they wouldn't start arguing. "Alright," the Jounin said before any jealous shouting started, "Since you've volunteered, your introduction is next, Naruto."

The blond ignored him, still sulking with his arms crossed and shoulders hunched.

"Naruto," Kakashi warned.

Beside him, Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'll do it for him," Sakura said peevishly, "He's Naruto Uzumaki. He likes ramen and Iruka-sensei. His dream for the future is to be Hokage, as if we haven't heard him shouting that out loud every other day," she muttered under her breath. "And dislikes…" Sakura looked thoughtful, "Er, I guess Naruto doesn't like people who want to harm his precious people."

Naruto nodded solemnly off to the side.

Kakashi gave an accepting nod before he pulled his attention away from the two to focus on the last Uchiha. "Very good. Next." Kakashi stared at his last student, Sasuke, who merely diverted his gaze to the pinklette instead.

The girl let out a groan, shaking her head to herself. "I might as well just do you all," she muttered, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "His name is Sasuke Uchiha," Sakura said without a pause, "He likes training to become stronger, he doesn't like people who lie to him or use him for their own purposes, and ... I guess his dream could be to … find justice?"

"Aright," Kakashi finalized, when Sasuke didn't speak up to correct her.

Kakashi was about to move on, but Sakura continued talking, oblivious. "And finally, you are Kakashi Hatake," the girl said, oddly completely confident of what she was saying, "You have no intention of telling us your likes and dislikes. Your dreams … and you have many hobbies," she concluded in a deviously eerie word-for-word telling of his own script.

Sakura looked over at him as if expecting confirmation, but Kakashi merely narrowed his eyes. "Is that so?" he asked, voice containing a dangerous edge to it.

Sakura froze, eyes widening as if realising how suspicious she sounded.

Kakashi studied the pinklette. The girl ducked her head, but that didn't stop the Jounin from advancing on the girl, clear caution in his eye. Naruto, with an unusually precise timing, interrupted him before Kakashi could do anything else. "Hey, Sensei, I just remembered I have something important to tell you."

"Not now, Naruto."

The boy continued insistently, "But it's really, really important! More important than Sakura-chan," he cried, slipping in between Kakashi and the girl. He refused to budge even as Kakashi glared down at him or tried to push him off to the side. "So, like, remember when I was younger…" the boy persisted.

"Not now."

"… and you used to watch me pee-"

Kakashi froze. His head whipped towards the blond's face. "That never happened," he cut in, trying to ignore the hushed silence, and the wide-eyed stares the other two Genins were giving him.

"Oh." Naruto frowned. "Then do you remember when you used to stalk me in the village, all day long? You used to follow me from my apartment to Ichiraku, and to the park, and when I visited the Old man, and … well, to everywhere, while you hid behind things so I wouldn't notice you. And then there was that time you followed me while I was peeing-"

"That never happened," Kakashi reiterated firmly.

Naruto tilted his head to the side. "You have a horrible memory, Sensei."

"Just move on."

The blond, however, was clearly having nothing of it. "How do you not remember? How many other seven-year-olds did you regularly spy on?"

"Kakashi's a pervert? I never would've guess,"Sasuke cried in disbelieving shock. Of course the fact that the Uchiha's 'shock' seemed to be slipping towards sarcasm didn't help Kakashi's case. Because the innocent face Sasuke was forcing on, coupled with the tone of his voice, suggested the worst.

"Sasuke?! You spied on Sasuke too?" Naruto shouted out. "I thought I was special!"

"Forget it, Naruto," the Jounin hissed, starting to hate the Uchiha's inability to act and the misunderstandings his inept abilities brought with it. "Just get to the point."

Naruto glowered for a second longer before he looked thoughtful, blinking to himself. "Oh, right." He scrunched up his face, scratching his chin, "hmm, what was it again?" he wondered out loud.

"Na. ru. to."

Naruto's face lit up suddenly. "Oh yeah, remember when I told you the Kyuubi makes my pee colourful? Well, I was lying," he confided proudly.

Kakashi took a deep breath. "That's great to know," he finally said in a satirical growl.

The blond ignored - or more likely didn't notice - his tone. "But, but, I wasn't lying completely!" he exclaimed. He leaned forwards towards his sensei, lowering his tone. "I can still draw pretty pictures with my urine," he whispered as though he was divulging to him an astonishing secret.

"That's very good to know," Kakashi hissed out between clenched teeth.

"I know, right?" Naruto grinned happily, before continuing, "I felt guilty for tricking you, and I didn't want you to end up referencing false information in the future."

Kakashi started blandly at the blond. "And you figured there would've been no chance what-so-ever that I would ever consider questioning the believability of your urinating rainbows because of a demon sealed in your stomach? And I would have neverrealised how ludicrous it sounded?"

Naruto frowned. "Oh." He paused, "Was this before or after I gave you the hint that dogs were colourblind?" he wondered curiously.

The Jounin rubbed his temples, trying to quell his urge to throw them all off the side of the building. But wait! Kakash's face suddenly lit up. He was free! The kids were all done their introductions – or rather, Sakura had done it all for them with her freaky all-knowing-knowledge-that-really-seemed-like-a-security-problem-and-he-should-really-throw-her-to-the-T-and-I unit-for-questioning-like-right-now, but he really didn't care about that at the moment (the Hokage could deal with her when he shoved the responsibility onto the Old man), because he now permitted to leave without the Hokage breathing down his neck for unceremoniously abandoning the kids.

Kakashi stood up from his slouch. "That's all for today," he said, clapping his hands together once to get their attention. "Tomorrow you have survival training with me." He couldn't help the sadistic giggle that was eager to burst out at the idea of failing them all and never seeing them ever again. "The passing rate is sixty-six percent. Those who fail will be sent back to the Academy." Kakashi paused for a dramatic effect, also sneaking a look at their faces at the same time. None of the seemed shocked at the prospect of repeating the Academy , but then again, maybe the idea hadn't sunk in yet. Kakashi shrugged internally before moving to finish his speech. "One final things, kids; don't –"

"Don't eat breakfast because we'll throw up," Sakura finished easily for him.

Kakashi glared at her. "Meet me-"

"-at Training field 27 at six o'clock sharp?"

Kakashi let out a low grunt before shunshin-ing away without another word. He had an odd, odd feeling the Hokage set him up with these particular kids on purpose, that evil old man.


	2. Definitely Not

_Initially__, I planned to have part 3 in a new fic (mainly because I'm having fun writing new summaries for PaR), but I decided against it. Part 1 is still on it's own because, like I said, possible inconsistencies._

_Part 1: Pissing a Rainbow  
__Part 2: Not Quite Pissing a Rainbow  
**Part 3: Definitely not Pissing a Rainbow**_

**Part 3 Summary:_  
_**In which Naruto definitely isn't pissing a rainbow, Sakura is not the only one from the future, Sasuke refuses to admit he's a horrible actor, and the Hokage is the only one privy to this information. Kakashi, the poor man, is forever the unlucky victim.

**DEFINITELY NOT PISSING A RAINBOW**

* * *

It all started when Kakashi's Genin team disappeared half-way through their Chunin Exam and singlehandedly thwarted Orochimaru's devious plot before it was even fully erected. Actually, to be exact, it all started way earlier than that - back when his kids were not so cute seven-year-olds who knew more than they really should.

The little ducklings had somehow gotten attached to him, despite his blatant hatred for them. Kakashi had tried to ignore their obnoxious bantering the best he could when they were young, because _'kids will be kids'_, the Hokage had informed him when he _might have_ complained about throwing them all off a cliff just for some peace and quiet. It got harder and harder to dismiss their oddness as they grew older and were place on his Genin team where he could no longer avoid them. Still, Kakashi desperately tried, but soon it was obvious he was getting nowhere. Maybe that was why he so happily nominated the three of them for the Chunin Exam – the sooner he was free from his role as their Sensei, the better.

Of course, he really should have expected it when Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura managed to make his life harder yet again, _before_ he managed to ditch them all forever.

**x**

While the world around Kakashi slowly settled down from Orochimaru's failed attempt at village invasion, Kakashi had other matters to take care of. Namely the three Genin in front of him. "Who are you?" Kakashi demanded, glaring suspiciously at the kids, slowly slipping into a dangerous stance.

Naruto blinked in surprise, shooting a glance over at his two teammates in alarm. "Wait, Sensei! It's us! Honestly!" he cried.

"And I am supposed to believe that my precious Genin were somehow able to singlehandedly foiled Orochimaru's plans without breaking a sweat?" the man said skeptically, eyeing them in indiscreet scrutiny.

"Since when did you ever consider us '_precious'_," Sasuke snorted, crossing his arms.

"That's beside the point," Kakashi said dismissively.

From beside the boy, a pink haired girl gave a worried wail. "It really is us!" Sakura pleaded, hands held upwards in a placating manner, trying to convince Kakashi they meant no harm. She shot Sasuke a quick glare to which he only rolled his eyes.

"What?" the boy droned, "He's not going to believe us regardless of what I say."

Sakura frowned. Meanwhile, Naruto grinned, eyes lit up with a sudden idea. "Oh! Do you want proof, Sensei?" the blond asked happily, bounding over towards the silver-haired man. Before the Jounin could even speak, Naruto pulled up his shirt. "Wanna see the Kyuubi seal mark to confirm it's really me?" The clothing was discarded on the floor without a second thought.

Kakashi held a hand exasperatedly to his head in response. His eye, however, was trained on Naruto's stomach, where Kakashi couldn't help staring. Because right there, glowing in all its glory was the eight trigrams seal Kakashi recognised from years of watching over the kid. "Naruto, I hoped you were old enough to know it's impolite to strip in front of a girl," he said dryly to cover up his astonishment.

"Nah, it's just Sakura," the blond said, patting his belly.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" said girl retorted indigently.

"You see me naked all the time."

Kakashi frowned for a second before he raised an eyebrow at the pinklette, wondering what his students got up to while he wasn't around. On the other hand, did he really want to know? "That's not what he meant, Kakashi-sensei!" the girl cried out.

"I don't judge your relationships," was Kakashi's only response.

"No!" The girl buried her head into her hand, cheeks tinted pink, muttering something about medical-nins.

Shaking his head, Kakashi dropped his stance, now certain his students were still his students, at the very least. Nevertheless, the Genins could tell Kakashi was still tense - then again, seeing kids half his age and supposedly a quarter of his experience suddenly working together like a seasoned team and flawlessly foiling a supposedly secret plot and taking out one of the Legendary Sanin, did that to people, shinobi or not.

"Alright, talk," Kakashi demanded. "What is going on?"

There was silence as the kids fidgeted nervously in front of him. Then, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura shared a silent look with each other and Sakura sighed, stepping up to speak. "In all honesty, we're from the future," the girl said, low and serious.

Kakashi blink a long, long blink, before he shook his head to clear out his ears. "I beg your pardon?"

"The future," Sasuke repeated dully.

Immediately, Kakashi turned towards the young blond in the group with a _tsk _on his lips. "Naruto, did you put them up to this?" he reprimanded, recalling how the boy had successfully managed to pull the kids into his crazy schemes before (Because no, he did not have buck teeth or blimp lips, thank you very much).

"Nu-uh," Naruto whined, but Kakashi was ignoring him in favor of coaxing a confession out of the other two.

"Tell me the truth," Kakashi said, staring down at the Uchiha and Haruno, trying to look like the harmless, lovable Sensei he always refused to be for them, "Did Naruto put you two up to this prank?"

Sasuke's lip wobbled immediately. He swiped his arm across his eyes. "I-it's Naruto's fault. H-he s-sa-id if we didn't li-isten to him," Sasuke gave a loud sniff, "he was going to t-tell everyone about my brother and make everyone hate me. H-he was blackmailing us."

Kakashi stared incredulously at the raven-haired boy. "… Did _you _put Naruto up to this?" he corrected straight away.

Sasuke made a face, "I said Naruto put me up to it," the boy countered heatedly, only a hint of the misery he'd tried to display still existing on his face.

Head in his hands, Kakashi sighed out loud. "Sasuke, you don't cry. Suddenly bursting out into tears is unbelievable. That was the worst lying I have ever seen, and honestly, it would have been better if you'd just stayed quiet."

Sasuke glowered at him.

"I have been trying to tell you for the last three years: you suck at acting," Kakashi deadpanned.

Sasuke gave a snarling growl under his breath. "There's nothing wrong with my acting," the boy muttered, "No one understands me."

Kakashi ignored the brooding boy, turning back to the likely sanest member of the trio. "As willing as I am to believe you," Kakashi began in a voice that spoke otherwise, "do you really expect me to believe in time-travel?" the man asked Sakura.

The girl wisely shook her head, but smiled a sweet and confident smile at him. "You only need to ask the Hokage, Kakashi-sensei. We have already proved ourselves to the Hokage."

Kakashi shot a glance at the old man standing a few meters away, ordering his shinobi to fix up the mess Orochimaru had brought along. "Really," he said wryly.

"We told him about it the moment we realised we were back in time."

Why was he not surprised the Hokage failed to share this information with him?

"It's so awesome!" Naruto cheered, leaping onto the Jounin, arms flailing in excitement. "Everyone underestimates me and no one expects it when I pull all sorts of pranks on the village!"

"I'd prefer if you refrained from causing havoc to the citizens," Kakashi replied with a sigh. Why was he also not surprise the first thing Naruto would think of for time-travel was all the pranks he could play? That is, assuming the Hokage _was _going to confirm their time-traveler status – but Kakashi had no doubts the man would. In fact, thinking back, this explained _everything._

Beside Kakashi, Sakura had her hands planted on her hips, towered over Naruto with a glare on her face. "Naruto," she hissed out, looking ever so ready to pound the blond to the ground, "stop being such a child. We're trying to be serious here."

"Hey! You didn't yell at Sasuke when _he_ was playing around," Naruto sulked, jabbing a finger at the Uchiha, "He was trying to unsuccessfully blame everything on me! Thankfully he sucks at acting."

Sasuke glared at the blond. "Shut up and listen to Sakura," the boy said succinctly in response.

"Hah! You just don't want to admit you suck!"

"Can we get back on topic?" Sakura cried above the voices of her teammates.

"Indeed," Kakashi said. Curiosity was getting to the better of him, especially faced with the sudden awareness of time-travelling. And yet, here was the team who experience that unbelievable phenomenon, and all they were doing was squabbling. But what else was he supposed to expect from these three? "How did this happen?"

"It was Naruto's fault."

Kakashi was certain that statement explained everything. In fact, when _wasn't _it Naruto's fault?

"Me?!" Naruto threw his hand up in the air, "I wasn't the one who told you to jump through that glowing vortex!"

"You fell in and we had to pull you out. And of course, you had to pull us in with you!" Sakura retorted.

Naruto stabbed a finger over at the Uchiha who was merely staring at them all in a silent glower, "Blame Sasuke for being so weak!"

Kakashi rubbed his temples as Sasuke glared and Sakura threw her hands up in the air. "You're too heavy! It's your fault for eating so much ramen all the time," the girl complained.

"Naruto. Sasuke. Sakura," Kakashi said sternly at each of them. With a minimal amount of grumbling, the little Genins quieted down. "On second thought, let's not get into that," Kakashi decided resolutely. If the last few seconds were any indication, Kakashi wouldn't get anything but a headache at the end of that discussion. "So you three traveled back in time and decided to annoy me. How wonderful," he muttered to himself.

"Well, I _wanted_ to change the future immediately," Sakura began hesitantly, catching Kakashi's words, "But Sasuke and the Hokage decided that minimal interference would be better, so that our future knowledge would actually be helpful, especially during pivotal events such as today, and ... well, another major event coming soon." Kakashi had a feeling Sakura truly meant _major_ when she said major, and he could only hope it wasn't another Shinobi War.

"It would have been best in the long run if we pretended we were ignorant to the future," Sasuke explained succinctly.

Naruto laughed at the other boy. He turned towards Kakashi with a grin on his face. "But Sasuke probably gave it away trying to _act_ like he didn't know anything, right?" Naruto asked, howling away.

Kakashi tipped his head towards the pinklette. "I think Sakura was tied with him there."

"Since you were our Sensei both in the past and present, the Hokage gave us some leeway," Sakura enlightened him with a bright smile and nod, "He let me drop hints about our knowledge and about the future to you."

Kakashi almost wished she hadn't. Ignorance was bliss, as the saying went. Honestly, Kakashi didn't even want the devil children in the first place, and now it turned out the came with an even larger package. One that the Hokage clearly knew and took pleasure in keeping Kakashi in the dark about, just to let the kids drop hints about it in their annoyingly unbearable ways.

"And the Old man didn't want me to prank the whole village either, so he said since you were going to be my Sensei, you could deal with that too," Naruto added.

Kakashi gave out a loud groan. "Why does this happen to me?" he grumbled to himself.

Unfortunately, Naruto heard. "Because you're a pervert," he said cheerily, as though perverseness was the sole reason why Kakashi was predestined to be his victim. If being a pervert was a requirement which allowed for people to be unconditionally pranked, then half of Konoha would never be safe.

"Jiraiya's more of a pervert," Kakashi countered immediately, having no qualms selling out his favourite author as long as it meant these miscreants would just _leave him alone. _Surely Naruto knew who Jiraiya was.

Naruto, of course, only shrugged. "The Old man said something about you needing to lighten up, and what better way than to take the brute of my pranks," he said with an innocent grin.

Kakashi took a deep breath. And another. And another. He clenched his hands into a fist, cursing the old Hokage with everything he knew. The Hokage was in on the whole thing - it was his fault the sanity of the world suddenly turned against him.

"Anyways," Naruto continued, clueless to the vow of hatred Kakashi was directing towards their village Hokage, "Rainbow pee was such an awesome idea, you know? I never would have been able to bribe your ninken if the Old man hadn't suggested trying steak instead of dog biscuits."

Kakashi always knew the Hokage was a sadistic old man, and that there was a-hundred-percent proof.


End file.
